just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
