It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Randomize