My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Boobs speak an international language.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
