Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
