is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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