She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?