I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
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the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
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...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.