I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.