how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs