oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey