His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
