Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize