She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize