Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
