I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize