1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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