When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
