before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
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