i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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