i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
