dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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