so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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