In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I have already put on my inside pants.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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