Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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