well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
