The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
