so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
