Pappa wants mamma naked
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
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you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
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Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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