you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
