I'm pants shitting drunk right now
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
worst night to have a conscience
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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