Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover