Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat