And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
