I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize