Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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