I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
