Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
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