last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
