I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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