It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
