I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
