Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
