so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
