shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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