he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
