My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
