Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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