if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
