Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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