Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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