thus making me awesome and them whores
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
