I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize