Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
