Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Alive.
So much puke
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
