I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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