I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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