So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
