Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
