I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
