She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
