pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
