I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
