why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
