Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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