Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
