just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
