you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize
