Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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