yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
