He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
